So... how random is it that I'm on Xanga right now? um... very random.
But, I got off work early today and just got curious about my xanga.  Man this site used to be THE SHIT. lols but now facebook has taken over the world.. its like "omg you don't have a facebook? WHY?!" haha like damn bitch relax!  But I shouldn't be talking because I have a FB. guilty! yes.... yes I am.

So... what the fuck is up Xanga?! I remember I used to write in here religiously, but now it's just for shits and giggles.  Stupid drama posts.. fuck the world posts.. life update posts. blah fuckity blah.

Anyways, enough on that.. lets have real talk.
So I have always been a very dominant girl.  In friendships & relationships, I just have a dominant personality growing up in a household of very strong woman figures with strong backbones.  Simple terms.. I just don't like it when things don't go my way or the way I plan it.  I have a problem with getting very irritated over something small and holding grudges.  Basically I get mad on my own and the other person has no idea why the hell I'm so upset.  Especially in relationships I like to get it my way.  I expect a guy to cater to me and just listen to everything I have to say, treat me like a total Queen.. yet I'm not attracted to those type of guys.  I'm attracted to those manly men, doesn't take shit from girls, gets it THEIR way... (aka Jerks, Fuckers, Douche.. etc etc). Ignores you, flakes on you, hard to get, hard to please, hard to keep sane.

I've dated very different guys and I noticed that I hate the drama sissy boys who are needy and so suffocating. Boys who cry, boys who don't know how to keep things private, boys who give in too quick, boys who blow up my phone, boys who don't keep up their hygeine, and the worst quality a boy can have... NOT being motivated to always upgrade himself.  Yet I always find myself with these kinds of boys.  Boys with problems.. either emotionally or financially and I always "fix" them because I'm just that type of girl that loves you for the real you and accepts you.. flaws and all.

BUT I realized that all the boys I have dated so far, in my short 20 years of life, never satisfied my needs & wants at the same time.  A boy I need might be someone I don't necessarily want.  A boy I want might be someone I don't necessarily need.  My perfect guy will fit perfectly in both categories, be humorous, like to be social, have similiar interest in music/art, handsome face (strong jawline... such a turn on!!), be gentle to my feelings yet wear the pants in the relationship, mysterious, confident, agressive, determined on making his money, has a plan for his future, and someone who can also be my best friend :)  I hope my dream guy is out there somewhere! I still have hope! haha

With every relationship though, you find out what you like.. what you don't like and what you'll expect in the next guy.  Every guy is an experience, lesson-learned, and memory.  I don't regret anybody or anything that has happened because it made me stronger & wiser. 

Relationships are great, but damn you always gotta love the single life. No worries, straight hakuna matata!  If I become single anytime soon, I plan to stay single for awhile and really find that priceless/perfect guy.  I want him to be so worth the wait :) Anyways.. blabbin too much now.

I doubt anybody would even read this, but its for shits & giggles later. Till next time.. ciao babies! Goodnight and have a wonderful Cambodian New Year & Easter Sunday <3 (no I'm not cambodian, but will be celebrating both of these events this week!) I shall update later! Ta-Ta!

OK so i was having a girlfriend talk the other day and we were talking about how girls are always feeling "crazy" whether its about saying something, doing something, reacting in a certain way, gettin jealous/overprotective with your man.  I mean honestly... how many have you girls heard "you're crazy" from ur man or ex-man? *raises hand. and then you think "shit am i crazy?!" but really YOURE NOT CRAZY!.. I came up with the conclusion that guys just make girls think theyre crazy.. Well obviously not on purpose, but guys just think much simpler than girls and they trip out when we get mad over something they thought we never get mad about.  And from talking to different girlfriends... the "you're crazy" moment comes out when it comes down to other females in his life.  but HONESTLY its just cause girls and guys think differently.. For example we might think he's flirting with the girl, but he says that he's just being nice.  I don't know.. every girl has their level of tolerance i guess... hahaha if my boyfriend said that he was being nice by giving her a hug and lingering his eyes on her with a big dumbass smile i would slap him. HAHHA dont fuckin make girls think we're crazy.  you BOYS ARE CRAZY!